Misli mladosti

In this time when media and other means of mass communication are overloaded with all aspects of sexuality issues and relationships, and because it is an attractive and interesting topic especially for young people, I was wondering: why there is still a taboo when discussing this issue in relation to disabled people? Are we being considered as non-sexual beings, or is it just that non-disabled people consider us to not be capable of having relationships in an ordinary way? Part of the answer came to me when I was in a shop with my ex-boyfriend, who was not a disabled person. A lady who was working there asked me, while he was not there, if he was also a disabled person (she knew me for some time, so she was familiar with my disability). When I answered no, she was very surprised, and she could not hide it. In my culture, this is one of many unwritten rules: if you have any kind of disability, you should only date disabled people or you should not date at all. But if you, by any cha...

“Thinking is difficult; that’s why most people judge” Jung It took me a year to think over and over about lecture that I had last year at my former high school for International Day of Persons with Disabilities. That day was emotional breakthrough for me in many ways and the chance to give lecture named “Life with Disability: how to stay the same and is it the essence” enabled me to see things in better light regarding work with youth, which is my current job. I acquired my disability while I was a student of that same high school, fourteen years ago. That was the hardest period of my life, since my chronic disease repeated and struck the strongest: I could die easily. But life gave me another chance. I had to quit school for a year and a half, continuing schooling with different start ground: seeing double, taking strong medicine and having hemiparasis were just part of my problem. More important in psychological sense was that I was abandoned by most of the people who used ...

 Sloboda se može kupiti. Vidimo to na svakom koraku, na svakom ćošku zemaljske kugle. Iako nam stalno ponavljaju da je pravda ista za sve, to podsjeća na neku mantru koja se ne ostvaruje. Dobar dan, gospodine. Utajili ste 10 miliona poreza. Kupite vašu slobodu do suđenja, na kojem ćemo se nagoditi sa vama za neku prigodnu sumu. Možete sve u jednom paketu da platite: slobodu do i nakon suđenja, dobićete popust. Akcija važi do kraja mjeseca!!! Ponekad budžet naše male klinike može djelovati kao buvljak nama, običnim ljudima. Jer vidimo da se mnogo toga radi „ispod žita“ i niko ne snosi odgovornost. Prijave inspektora su beznačajne ako jedu i  piju sa glavašima. A mi snosimo ceh. Savjest se ne mora imati. Svjedoci smo tome, u svim vremenima, na svakom meridijanu. Ona jeste moralna samosvijest i jeste etička kategorija, ali se bolje živi od etiketiranja nego od, nažalost, etičkog praznikovanja i tantalovskog cijepanja između dilema i iskušenja. Ljudi bez savjesti nik...

Godina 1993., rat u regionu bukti i moja majka koja, suznih očiju, ulazi u kuću. Na naše upitne poglede kroz plač odgovara da je naš komšija poginuo na ratištu, negdje u Hrvatskoj. Sa svoje četiri godine sam upamtila rečenicu: politika je svemu kriva.              Bila sam natjerana da puno toga saznam prije vremena ali i privilegovan načinom vaspitanja mojih roditelja da ne moram da usvojim njihove stavove. Dok sam često bila primorana da čujem dio sjednice našeg parlamenta i nagovarala oca da nađe neki zanimljiviji crtani film, imala sam priliku da sa vremena na vrijeme prelistam beogradske antirežimske novine „Naša krmača“, pune sjajnih fotomontaža i karikatura, u kojima je uvijek bilo nečeg i o našim liderima. To me je naučilo da mora da postoji suprotno mišljenje.             Kroz cio taj period se provlačio fenomen tzv. politizacije društva i njegove ne još uvij...

It is so strange to be double isolated from society, but it is more than possible in many occasions. I know it, because I’ve been there. As young person with just acquired disabilities I was rejected by many of my old and new acquaintances and so called friends and I was at the same time someone who was object of hate speech. And I know now that it was strongly connected. But at that time I could not get the whole picture. Too many bad things happened to me in less than a year. And so many people, some of them very good, just fell on exam of stereotypes and those who I met for the first time could not handle with prejudices. And those who were simply evil hated me because I was different. Could not handle my reality at that time. I was recovering from bad brain injury, I lost some of physical and sensor functions for a short time and trying to regain them as soon as possible. I was very good pupil before accident, so I tried to be same again, even it was not possible. It was cons...

  Once upon a time my reality was broken. At that time, I was lonely, could not realize how come I cannot fit in so called normal world, my broken reality. I was going trough the worst period of my life, when society rejected me after I became a person with acquired disability, sentencing me to the worst punishment – loneliness. It took me years to understand that I should not fit in in the so called ‘normal’ society, because it is not normal without me as a disabled person. As different than others. That’s one of my mottoes. Living in Montenegro, which is not yet a state with strong and effective policy toward disability issues in general (in theory we are doing better and better, but when it comes to practice we are not so good), you just have to choose which reality you should live in: the one which is imposed to you by social norms of so called ‘normal’ society – full of stereotypes and prejudices towards the minority, or you can get out from that frame and by your person...

U ime naroda i pravde Čitajući neke od tekstova koje sam napisala prethodnih godina, neupućeni čitalac bi mogao da pomisli da sam jedna kritički nastrojena individua protiv djelovanja većine političkih činilaca u društvu. Možda bi bio u pravu, ali jedino ukoliko bi pod kritikom smatrao ono što smatram i ja: jednim iskustveno izgrađenim skupom pojmova, sudova i zaključaka, koji mogu biti pozitivni i/ili negativni. Jedinu pravu kritiku društva mogu dati ljudi koji žive u njemu i dišu njegovim plućima, ali bez predrasuda ni prema čemu. Mnogo nas toga može spriječiti od sagledavanje stvarnosti onakvom kakva jeste. Od one utopijske „biće bolje“ do  optužujućeg „đe ćeš protiv svoje države“ se kreću nijansirane zamke.  Država nije isto što i vlast, samo što se kod nas stavlja znak jednakosti. Državom ne bi trebalo da se smatra grupa ljudi koja donosi odluke, ali tako obično biva. Ovom prilikom želim, bez generalizacije, da  pišem o nekim ljudima koji...