Pride and prejudices


“Thinking is difficult; that’s why most people judge” Jung

It took me a year to think over and over about lecture that I had last year at my former high school for International Day of Persons with Disabilities. That day was emotional breakthrough for me in many ways and the chance to give lecture named “Life with Disability: how to stay the same and is it the essence” enabled me to see things in better light regarding work with youth, which is my current job.
I acquired my disability while I was a student of that same high school, fourteen years ago. That was the hardest period of my life, since my chronic disease repeated and struck the strongest: I could die easily. But life gave me another chance. I had to quit school for a year and a half, continuing schooling with different start ground: seeing double, taking strong medicine and having hemiparasis were just part of my problem. More important in psychological sense was that I was abandoned by most of the people who used to be my friends before my hard time began. For most of them I became that friend with whom they have coffee just in privacy of our homes. Some of them didn’t want to spend time with me anymore. I was a little monster for them, since they consider the fact that I have survived strike that kills most of the people who are attacked by it as something horrible.
And while I was telling this story to my quiet audience, tears which are flowing down my face at this moment were threatening to appear. But one look at my former school principal, who is a professor of psychology and who helped me when I had my hard time, made my tears go away. People who believed in me and helped me just with kind and honest, supportive words were my treasure. And those professionals, who were treating me with patience, but being honest and direct with all things that I had to accept as new part of my life, helped me be who I am today. But most of the work I had to do on my own and nothing was pink. Family became too supportive, making vacuum zone around me. With a few of new friends, who overcame that fact that I am  just different from all people of our generations and with their generous support, I made to do and overcome everything since now: studying which was extremely hard for me, bad professors, bad attitudes, bad job, bad people… Because people around us are really important.
And while I was telling that to young people who were listening to me really carefully, I had to emphasize that not everyone should or could under mandatory accept people with disabilities as part of their lives. Proclaimed by all moral sayings but it is doomed to failure. Yes, we are part of every society and our rights should be obeyed even more rigorously than rights of some other vulnerable groups, but I don’t need pity to survive my day. I just need opportunity to tell my story. Not everybody will understand it and are capable to do it. Some people are scared of others people experience.   
One wise man said that prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.[1] And it is very true, speaking from my point of view. Don’t judge by the way I am walking or other specialty of mine. I was very often in a situation that people have attitude that I am not pleasant company just because I am a person with disability, but after spending some time with me, they would change their “opinions”-read prejudices. Let it be like that.
And after a year since I used an opportunity to say my story in an amphitheater which I see as most important for my professional life (now I have the strength to speak to any public in this world), I conclude that young people I am in contact with are more open and sincere with me. And they are more open minded about various subjects. As the message of the last slide of my presentation says: I do not want you to think like me. I just want you to think. Enough.






[1] E.B. White
http://www.wiseoldsayings.com/prejudice-quotes/

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