Memories of hard times can brighten your way- part 2

Fragments from my diary

Monday, 2nd of September 2002

Dear diary,

Today is the first day of new school year and everything else becomes unimportant. What is important is school. I hesitated a little to write you because my brother is such a sniffer. First time I had to cut out few pages, out of fear, but now I will not do it. So, Diana fell in love with Alexander, and, by her story, Mia too. He is cute a bit. I have to tell you that Martin is so cute this yearJ. So I have to know is he still in love with me. Angel has got some awful haircut, and there are rumors that my mentor will go to military service. What will I do without him!!!

Love you! Your Maki

Sunday, 1st of December 2002

Dear diary,

First of December! A month to go and New Year. But, I cannot wait! But, during this month I will have a billion written assignments and control tests. On Wednesday I will do a written assignment from physics. I am scared a bit, because this will be one of the real tests before competition. At this moment here are one granny from the neighborhood and mum.  I sometimes wonder why I never write about my family and cousins. Guess because I don’t want to or I don’t have a reason to do it. I write about friends and those who I don’t like. But it doesn’t matter.

Love,

Deine M

Monday, 13th of January 2003

Dear,

This evening we went to the concert organized for Orthodox New Year’s Eve. One band and two singers. And very handsome guitarist! Too cute! One guy was standing above me, and pushing me, and then I met Gile. That crazy guy asked me for a drink, and I said I was waiting for someone, but I am not sure whom. 

Marijeta

Friday, 11th of April 2003

Dear diary,

First-sorry for not writing to you. Second- I am so dead. Tomorrow is competition from physics, and I feel such a stage fright. I did a lot of computational tasks and I feel that I know it (well, that is something) but this stage fright will bury me. I think that I won’t sleep tonight!

Saturday, 12th of July 2003

I will tell you why I did not write to you. To start with, in the competition I took 17th place and after it went to the excursion. At the excursion I got sick. A blood vessel in my brain exploded and I had very strong stroke. From hospital in Bar I was transported to Podgorica, and from Podgorica to Belgrade. I was recovering there for a month. After I came back home they approved further treatment called embolization in Switzerland. Now I am recovering at home but my right arm and leg are desperate. But, OK.

Monday, 28th of July 2003

Dear diary,

Last night I had a small crying attack. Something exploded in me and I don’t know… I was really bad. I am so depressed. Everything is so different, I am different. And everybody around me. All that is very upsetting.  And school.. I am very scared, but I hope that everything will be fine. There, I am telling you, everything is so… different.

Thursday, 18th of September 2003

Dear diary,

Today is my birthday. I don’t celebrate because it is not the time for it. It is not the time for anything. That’s how it is. I feel so bad. I am trying to be the same as before, but it just doesn’t go like that. School is terrible. Everything is different and stupid. Classmates, professors, everything. I feel stupid and lonely. I cannot describe you what annoys me, but the list is long. This is not me anymore. It’s someone else. And I miss the old me. Here, I cry. Pathetic and funny, isn’t it? I think God should take me. I am not for this.

Sunday, 15th of February 2004.

Dear diary,

I did not have the chance to write you before. At this moment I cannot write at all, so my brother is doing it on my behalf (me, me, me).three months ago I had another stroke, I was in a clinic in Podgorica more than a month and after it I came home. After a month I went to Switzerland and had another operation. Everything turned ok for me and at the moment I have a physical rehabilitation in our hospital. What to say, I feel like a cool girl. I have troubles with right side of my body, leg and arm, but it will pass/go away, 100% I am sure about it!  Rt7. I also see double, it’s called diplopia… Next month I will go to the spa to continue my physical treatment. Hope for the best.

Love from me